Step by Step

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed today with the enormity of what I desire to accomplish with my novel writing.  There are so many steps to complete between here and publication, many of which are not in my control.  Adding to that my insecurities and my inexperience, you've got a recipe for giving up.  I know because I've been here before.  When I was in college, my dream was to be a singer-songwriter.  I felt certain that I had the talent to get signed by a label and recorded.  After a few struggles and much research into the ins and outs of getting signed, I eventually decided it was too much work and gave up.  Was that the right decision?  I don't know for sure, but it still makes me sad when I think about it.

We all have dreams like that.  We all have passions that drive us and inspire us.  But far too often the difficulties of living into those passions with all that we are is hard.  And when we face rejection or setbacks along the way, it is much easier to give up those dreams than to press on....or is it?  In the short term perhaps it is.  But when all is said and done, does the difficulty of giving it our all really outweigh the pain of giving up on our dreams?

The problem with giving something our all is that in doing so we make ourselves vulnerable.  For example, an artist throws himself or herself into their work.  She bears her soul in every painting, every sculpture, every song.  Then when someone rejects that piece of art it is as if they are rejecting the artist's soul.  That is tremendously painful.  And the longer an artist spends on his work, the more of him is embedded within it.  Therefore he has more to lose, more chance for pain.

I've been working on my novel for over 3 1/2 years now.  I've invested MANY hours into it.  I've recruited the help of others.  The characters have become my friends.  My heart and soul are deeply woven into the fabric of the pages.  The thought of my novel being rejected, disliked, or dismissed makes my heart pound, my nerves flare, my whole being quake.  So, what am I to do?  What are all of us to do with our dreams?  Can we afford the price it will most definitely cost to press on?  Can we afford not to?

This morning, I am feeling lonely and overwhelmed.  So many steps lie before me that I have a hard time believing I can make it to the end.  Even worse, I feel alone on the journey.  Even those who I know love and care for me seem outside the path.  The place I want to go is a place I must journey alone.  But how am I to get there?

I am inspired this morning by this song from the late Whitney Houston:



Here is the refrain:
Step by step
Bit by bit
Stone by stone
Brick by brick
Step by step
Day by day
Mile by mile
Go your own way!

It is time for me to stop looking at the big picture for a moment, to stop focusing on the ultimate goal, and instead turn my attention to the step that is right before me.  I love the scene in What About Bob? where Bob is told by Dr. Marvin to simply take life in baby steps.  And Bob proceeds to walk everywhere saying, baby-stepping to the door, baby-stepping onto the elevator, etc.  Hilarious!



So, today I'm going to take baby steps.  I'm going to enjoy my day off of work by hanging out with my kids, cleaning my house, and editing chapter 6.  I'm sure I will take some time to check on the Cubs-Cardinals game as well.  But I am going to try to avoid thinking about all the future steps that will need to be taken, try to avoid dwelling on the improbability of being published and the hard work needed just to get my manuscript read.  Those things will still be there later when everything else is in place.  For now I need to simply take it all step by step.  Care to join me?